Where Do We Go From Here? - State of the Dead

 Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching. Assuredly, I say to you that he will gird himself and have them sit down to eat, and will come and serve them. Luke 12:37

          Who more than a mother who has lost a child can possibly want to cling to the thought of our loved ones going to heaven when they die? To think of our child frolicking happily, pain-free, spreading wings of lavish white feathers, being entertained by family who have arrived before them. To think of them beside us when we cry, watching over us as we experience life's joys and sorrows.  Do we truly "follow the white light" to the gates of heaven? Is this all biblically based? Or is it a misinterpretation of a few key scriptures, easier to believe because it is much more appealing than the alternatives? What are the alternatives?
          All my life I believed in heaven and hell. I've believed those who experienced violent or sudden deaths sometimes got lost "in between" because either they did not realize they were dead, or they had unfinished business to attend to before they could "follow the light", or that our refusal to let them go in our hearts would hinder their ascending to heaven. I've also believed some remain with vengeance in mind, while others were sent back to help other people as guardian angels. You may think of these beliefs as wacky or you may agree. The point is, these are things many people believe without any biblical foundation to back it up. Many will fight tooth and nail to protect what they believe even if it can't be proven with scripture. I personally was ready for war when the idea of not going to heaven the moment we died was presented to me. No way could that be true! But is it? I had to prove this theory wrong, and believe me, I tried.
          There is so much information in the bible and on the web about this subject it can be hard to know what to believe. Both sides sound so convincing. I will be listing scriptures which I believe will make it clear what the bible says. I will also be listing scriptures which represent the beliefs of those who believe different than I do. I may add a note in blue with a scripture to show how I read it just for food for thought. Please feel free to add scriptures for both sides in comments if I have missed any. I will be happy to add them.

Scriptures Used to Support We Go to Heaven When We Die
Followed by what I have found in the Bible

1. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 ~  So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. (Absent from the body-present with the Lord does not necessarily mean that we will actually be in the presence of the Lord the moment we die. If we are asleep when we die and know nothing (Ecclesiastes 9:5-6) as the bible says, the last thing we will remember is being alive, the next we will know is being in the presence of the Lord. This does not mean no time passes in between. Hundreds of years can pass and we will not know it. In our conscious thought it is but a moment. In reality it isn't.)
2. Philippians 1:21-23 ~  "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.  (Again, the next conscious thought after dying will be being in the presence of the Lord. Not necessarily meaning no time passes.)
3. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 ~  But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.           
4. John 3:14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.     (If we are go directly to heaven, why would we be asleep in Jesus? “God will bring with Him” means when Jesus returns to heaven after the second coming. “those who sleep in Jesus” is evidence we spend time “asleep” or dead before we go with Jesus to heaven. There does not seem to be any evidence to support this scripture meaning anything but that. 
5. 1 Corinthians 15:51 ~  Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed.                     (If this verse were taken on its own merits, one could assume by "We shall not all sleep" that some of us will go directly to heaven. But, if you take the next verse into account with it, "in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed," the meaning is plain. "At the last trumpet" are the key words to the meaning here.
6. Luke 23:43 ~  And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”                         (In the time the bible was written, punctuation did not exist. If you take what Jesus says here and read it how it was written originally, "Assuredly I say to you today you will be with me in Paradise", it takes on a completely different meaning)
7. John 11:25 ~  Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.                                                                                 “though he may die, he shall live” : These words plainly state that we will die. But in the end, if we die in the Lord, we shall live. In other words, we will not die an eternal death, ever. We will be risen again from our “sleep” to live with Jesus and God when Jesus returns to earth. This scripture does not say that we will live instantly after we die. So if we wish to follow the word of God, what should we believe?
8. John 12:26 ~  If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.                                             Many believe that this means we will go to heaven immediately after we die, which has always puzzled me even before I decided to really study the bible, which was often not what I was taught. If we serve Jesus, His Heavenly “Father will honor us.” When we are resurrected in the end times, will not God be honoring us? He will be honoring us by not letting us die the eternal death. He will be honoring us by allowing us to live in the the holy city with Jesus for all eternity. This verse really does not say anything about going to heaven the moment we die as far as I can tell.

OT Scriptures Supporting Death as a Sleep Until Christ Returns:

(This list is quite extensive. Please be patient, I am listing all for accuracy)

1. 2 Samuel 7:12 ~  "When your days are fulfilled and you rest with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who will come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom.
2. Deuteronomy 31:16 ~  And the Lord said to Moses: "behold, you will rest with your fathers; and this people will rise and play harlot with the gods of the foreigners of the land, where they go to be among them, and they will forsake Me and break My covenant which I have made with them."
3. 1 Kings 2:10 ~  So David rested with his fathers, and was buried in the City of David.
4. 1 Kings 11:43 ~  Then Solomon rested with his fathers, and was buried in the City of David his father. And Rehoboam his son reigned in his place.
5. 1 Kings 14:20 ~  The period Jeroboam reigned was twenty-two years. So he rested with his fathers. Then Nadab his son reigned in his place.
6. 1 Kings 16:6 ~  So Baasha rested with his fathers and was buried in Tirzah. Then Elah his son reigned in his place.
7. 1 Kings 22:50 ~  And Jehoshaphat rested with his fathers, and was buried with his fathers in the City of David his father. Then Jehoram his son reigned in his place.
8. 2 Kings 14:16 ~  So Jehoash rested with his fathers, and was buried in Samaria with the kings of Israel. Then Jeroboam his son reigned in his place.
9. 2 Kings 15:7 ~  So Azariah rested with his fathers, and they buried him with his fathers in the City of David. Then Jotham his son reigned in his place.
10. 2 Kings 16:20 ~  So Ahaz rested with his fathers, and was buried with his fathers in the City of David. Then Hezekiah his son reigned in his place.
11. 2 Kings 20:21 ~  So Hezekiah rested with his fathers. Then Manasseh his son reigned in his place.
12. 2 Kings 21:18 ~  So Manasseh rested with his fathers, and was buried in the garden of his own house, in the garden of Uzza. Then his son Amon reigned in his place.
13. Job 14:10-12 ~  But man dies and is laid away; indeed he breathes his last and where is he? As water disappears from the sea, and a river becomes parched and dries up, so man lies down and does not rise. Till the heavens are no more, they will not awake nor be roused from their sleep.
14. Psalms 13:3 ~  Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; enlighten my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death.
15. Psalms 17:15 ~  As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.
16. Isaiah 26:19 ~  Your dead shall live; Together with my dead body they shall arise. Awake and sing, you who dwell in the dust for your dew is like the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.
17. Jeremiah 51:39 ~  In their excitement I will prepare their feasts, I will make them drunk, that they may rejoice, and sleep a perpetual sleep and not awake,: says the Lord.
18. Jeremiah 51:57 ~  "And I will make drunk her princes and wise men, her governors, her deputies, and her mighty men. And they shall sleep a perpetual sleep and not awake," says the King, whose name is the Lord of hosts.
19. Daniel 12:2 ~  And any of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, some to shame and everlasting contempt. 

          Now that I have come to the last of the Old Testament scriptures I could find on death as a sleep, I should add that many believe that only those who died before Christ do not ascend to heaven directly after death. Their reasoning, or so I have been told, is that having died before Christ was born, they could not have died in Christ. But those who were righteous before Christ will still be allowed into heaven. Though this makes a convincing argument, I have yet to find anyone who can point to scripture which backs this theory up.

NT Scriptures Supporting Death as a Sleep Until Christ Returns:

1. Matthew 9:24 ~  He said to them, "Make room, for the girl is not dead, but sleeping."
2. Mark 5:39 ~  When He came in, He said to them, "Why make this commotion and weep? The child is not dead, but sleeping."
3. Luke 8:52-53 ~  Now all wept and mourned for her; but He said, "Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping." And they ridiculed him, knowing that she was dead.
4. John 11:11-14 ~  These things He said, ad after that He said to them, "Our friend Lazarus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him up." Then His disciples said, "Lord, if he sleeps he will get well." However, Jesus spoke of his death, but they thought that He was speaking about taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus said to them plainly, "Lazarus is dead."
5. Acts 7:60 ~  Then he knelt down and cried in a loud voice, "Lord, do not charge them with this sin." And when he had said this, he fell asleep.                                                                               (The man did not simply lay down to take a nap. He died.)
6. 1 Corinthians 15:6 ~  After that He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain to the present, but some have fallen asleep.
7. 1 Corinthians 15:20 ~  But now Christ is risen form the dead, and has become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.
8. Ephesians 5:14 ~  Therefore He says: "Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."
9. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-15 ~  But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep.     (If you take verse 15 along with verses 13 and 14, you can clearly see those who are asleep in Christ will precede us. They cannot precede us if we are already in heaven. Those who are asleep in Christ will be raised from the dead when Christ returns. Paul does not say anyone will come down in the clouds with Christ. - Consider this, Psalm 146:4 and Ecclesiastes 9:5, 10, state the dead have no thoughts. If they have no thoughts, they couldn't possibly be aware of the passage of time. So from your last aware moment (right before you die), to your next aware moment (the moment you see the Lord upon resurrection in the last days) would seem like “the blink of an eye”.)

          I am sure I have missed some scriptures in the bible which will support one of these beliefs. If you find any, please let me know. I am more than happy to list them.